My body…please wait 

I’m sorry you don’t feel loved

I promise to fall in love with you one day

I’m working on it 

Please give me time

Time to love the stretch marks on my thighs 

Time to stop weighing myself every hour

Time to stop staring at every blemish 

I know you have been waiting so long

20 years 

I’m sorry I’m keeping you waiting 

Overthinking

I feel cold, too cold

for someone whose heart is

always racing

pulsing

skipping

stopping

and then speeding back up again.

Pills, therapists, and self-harm try their best to work

but who am i kidding? the only thing that works

is you.

you are my treatment

ingesting you like my pills

confiding in you like a client
tearing you apart like you’re the skin on my fingers

but you could fail me

like everything else

will you?